These past months have been filled with such deep grief around what is happening in our world, with Palestine and Israel being right at the surface.
These times put us in touch with our humanity and expose our vulnerabilities in ways that “normal” life doesn’t. But this is the state of the world. And while we hope, pray, give, act and advocate, there’s so much of our own inner tending to do.
Systems like capitalism and patriarchy ask us to normalize a “blood, sweat and tears” approach to living. We’re not worthy if we don’t turn ourselves inside out, striving for a life we hope to deserve.
When war and genocide are layered in, we can find ourselves in such deep grief that we react by implementing a subtle war on our own well-being.
When I group together themes from my various musings, I realize that it’s an offset of blood, sweat and tears. In that vein, I’d like to present the wisdom of iron, water and joy.
Iron
In the past months, my body has experienced an abnormal amount of blood loss. While I’ve taken measures to address this, I can tell you that anemic living is not good. Feeling energetically defeated before taking on a task or wanting to go to bed by 7pm is not the life I want to live. Iron supplements have been a life-saver for me, literally, as they make me come alive and have stamina for a healthy, active day.
If a part of the body experiences trauma that results in blood loss, the immediate response is to stop the bleeding. The body’s position may need to be adjusted, pain medication and fluids given. This is to say that in addition to putting pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, the rest of the body requires nurture to assist the wounded area, because the body is one.
I know that so many are struggling with how to hold and respond to what is happening in the Middle East. Our hearts get pierced every time we open the news. And many are lacking the tools and practices to nurture their own wellness to sustain response. Action of any kind cannot be sustained if we are constantly hemorrhaging from our hearts.
It’s vital to find nurturing practices that help regulate our nervous systems, feed our sense of awe and wonder, and uplift our hearts. Whatever that is for any given person is truly necessary. It’s not despite what is happening in the world, but because the world is hurting and we are one with that. In some ways, it’s our duty to nurture life and wellness in order to be present where that is not the case.
Upon reflecting, the famous proverb - Proverbs 27:17 - came to mind. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” I wonder how we are calling each other into strength these days, sharpening one another to be empowered and effective without sacrificing ourselves in the process. The economy of the soul subverts our capitalism-infused mindsets. Love’s gentle touch can cut through the density of guilt, shame and unworthiness.
Water
I’ve been drinking copious amounts of tea lately, pouring boiling water over plants to infuse their sacred medicinal offerings. My spiritual journey over the past year has been learning to live from a space that has the quality of water - infusing, conforming (in a good way), and open to possibility. Transitioning from a fiery spirit to this has been a journey, though incredibly empowering.
I have felt my spiritual life become hydrated, buoyant and more joyful. This spiritual orientation has called out my unconsciousness, just like water flushes out toxins. Water is wise.
A water story I’ve been journeying with is Matthew’s account of Jesus walking on water. This story begins with Jesus coming off the mountain. He has tended to his inner work, stepped back, rested and this always led him back into the world. Some of his most profound miracles were done after his time away. No different this day because he was in such a transcendental state that he began to walk on the water to meet the disciples on the boat.
Peter is very much a stereotypical activist, always ready to do the thing, say the thing, step into the thing. At one point he even told Jesus he would never let him down. He often lacked follow-through.
Jesus had already told the disciples that it was him on the water. But Peter needed to prove it.
So he said to Jesus - If it’s You, call me out on the water, and so Jesus did. And what’s incredible is that Peter does begin walking on water. Peter is walking in that transcendent vibration of Love with Jesus.
Until he isn’t.
At some point, Peter looks down at the waves under his feet, and he felt the wind, and he thinks, “What am I doing? Who am I kidding? The wind and waves are more real than what Jesus is doing.”
Sometimes we succumb to limiting stories. They might sound like:
There’s no way we can affect change.
The politically powerful will never yield.
Weapons are more powerful than hymns.
We have to do more.
We can bring our focus back on Love in the form of Jesus holding out his hand to pull us back up, planting our feet solidly on water. We have access to the transcendent.
Joy
In 2005, I attended an engagement party on a rooftop in Bethlehem, Palestine. It was a delightful experience of witnessing people dressed to the nines blasting loud Arabic dance music and moving their bodies in the joy of the rhythms and occasion. All of this took place with an Israeli settlement looming on the hilltop in the distance.
I learned something so incredibly valuable that evening. Joy and celebration are some of the most powerful forms of resistance to death-dealing entities like colonialism, occupation and dispossession.
I think it’s really difficult for the privileged to understand this deeply. Our minds have trouble wrapping around it. But those who live close to death are usually the ones most able to notice the power of life itself. One such person is Andrea Gibson. They express this through their poem Acceptance Speech after Setting the World Record in Goosebumps. Andrea’s journey with recurring cancer has opened them in a way that has allowed them to access the wisest place inside themself.
One of the reasons I know how deeply I’m grieving right now is by noticing how much I have been nurturing calm, connection, enchantment, joy and wonder in my life. I find myself eager to invite others into this space because there is something so elemental, so essential that it provides to the world, something that is so desperately needed. Laughter itself lowers cortisol levels and boosts the immune system. It prevents heart disease and helps build resilience. We need joy.
For the Sake of the World
This is not a head-in-the-sand kind of thing. It’s a lot like how Jesus stayed upright on the water even as he was present with Peter’s flailing. It requires inner work up on the mountain and it always leads us into engagement with the world. Love knows how to be present with pain.
I think of the poet Mary Oliver who can write both Wild Geese and Lead, both of which orient our hearts to Love through incredibly different stanzas.
How will we nurture life today? How will we pay attention, be astonished, and allow our cups to be full enough to overflow to the world around us? I hope this gives you more than permission, but an invitation to really know how much a part of this world you are, and how you have the power to infuse it with Love that connects us to our Oneness.
Lead
Here is a story
to break your heart.
Are you willing?
This winter
the loons came to our harbor
and died, one by one,
of nothing we could see.
A friend told me
of one on the shore
that lifted its head and opened
the elegant beak and cried out
in the long, sweet savoring of its life
which, if you have heard it,
you know is a sacred thing.,
and for which, if you have not heard it,
you had better hurry to where
they still sing.
And, believe me, tell no one
just where that is.
The next morning
this loon, speckled
and iridescent and with a plan
to fly home
to some hidden lake,
was dead on the shore.
I tell you this
to break your heart,
by which I mean only
that it break open and never close again
to the rest of the world.
Wild Geese
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.